When people learn
of the nature of this blog, 9 times out of 10, when asked where would you hide
in a zombie apocalypse, the person
responds with something along the lines of:
“ Duhh that’s easy! Bunnings (Home Depot
etc.)”
First and last Mistake.....
Every time they
have to have it explained to them why this is a horrible idea. First of all
because if 9 out of 10 people we ask have the same idea, it’s a fair assumption
that 90% of the population also have the same idea. Imagine 90% of the
population heading in great hordes to your nearest hardware store in a zombie
outbreak and you have your first reason to avoid these stores, and when the
fear sets in and people start tearing limbs off to get the last chainsaw on the
shelves you’ll regret even thinking this was a good idea.
The second reason
is of course exposure. Human nature is bad throw the chance of exposure to the
cause of the pandemonium and somewhere that everyone is going and you have
yourself a flashpoint. This is not somewhere you want to be for the POSSIBILITY
of getting your hands on some tools, if you manage to get through the panicked,
chaotic and fear fuelled crowds. Add to this that my local Bunnings can only be
accessed by a single road. Which will end up looking like the highway in the
Walking dead.
So now that I’ve
destroyed your action plan for the coming Zombie apocalypse, I suppose it would
only be good manners to give you plan B. So you’re after some tools/weapons
capable of furthering your helps of survival in the modern wasteland that is
the zombie apocalypse. The answer is simple.
The trusty Garden shed or Garage
If you don’t own
one or its filled with books, chairs and the remnants of child hood pets like
your goldfish tank and rabbit cage that will serve no purpose in the zombie
apocalypse, your neighbours or parents wouldn’t mind I’m sure if you raided
theirs or usually within a short radius of you someone will have a shed/garage. More often
then not these treasure troves are in plain site and could contain more than you will
need. Tools, Weapons and more [with varying levels of success]
So if I have done
nothing but destroy your action plan and got you thinking where to now then you
can thank me later when you realise I just saved your life!
-Sam
-
I liked how this started: "don't do what everyone else is going to do, you'll likely be overpowered and exposed to outbreak." But to just blindly assume that people have a useful collection of tools "in the shed out back" is terrible writing, and alienates the audience from your scenario.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from and I should have specified,within say a four house radius of where you live, someone would have a shed/garage or a storage cupboard in apartments all with varying levels of equipment, Old Mrs Dorris may only have a spade and hedge clippers for her roses but it's a start and this piece was about your first port of call. whereas Old mrs Gladdis down the road may have a saw, axe or chainsaw as she is a bit fitter than Mrs Dorris. Hope I'm making sense?
Delete